Moving On...

How to begin this blog? How do I explain to the world how I feel? I'm happy at times with being single and not having to worry about everything. At other times, it hurts to breathe on my own and I want to be with him again. How do I explain to someone that I know me and him had a falling out, and he did horrible things, but why do I feel as though a part of me is hurting some days. As of today its been 3 months since me and him have been together. It feels so much longer then that and some days I am still in shock that I am even dealing with the pain of losing him. After all we went through... I thought me and him would always be together. Never in my wildest imagination could I imagine losing him. I figured I had finally found someone I was going to marry and be with forever.. and then the rumors started... and then I saw emails and all this about all these personal things I knew nothing about. I wasn't prepared to deal with something like that. I felt like he was the one for me. Little by little now I miss him a little less... It's been 3 months today and although it hurts, I know I will move on and find someone who will appreciate me for who I am and what I'm all about. I just find myself comparing J. to every guy I come into contact with. I am trying my hardest to just get through each day and now I feel like I walked 3 steps back instead of forwards. With will back in my life, I don't know how I feel about that. I am glad he is back in my life, but I feel like I don't make any progress hanging out with Will. I am 25 years old and I am sort of bored of just hanging out with him doing nothing. I want more with my time then just being bored. I wanna write, or maybe sing or do something exciting and fun. I find that bringing him back into the mix.. has made life just more drama infested. I don't wanna drama. I have had enough to last me for the rest of my life...Dealing with the pain of the J. situation.. trying to figure out who was telling the truth... That was enough for me.