Rage..

How is it possible I have so much rage for W? Why does this rage fill my soul currently where I just wish so many horrible things on him. Maybe its because he fucked up my life. He controlled my life to the point I couldn't even be myself. I would call my best friend Jes all the time crying because I was so unhappy. I hate feeling like this rage is eating me alive. The blackmailing part is what eats at me. How could he be so horrible to me after everything me and him went through. He burned the best friend book.. every last page.. HOW COULD HE DO THAT! The rage I have for him, so seems to eat at me more and more. I can live without him, its just the idea of why would he be like this to me after all we have been through. Does he really have no heart? He deserved to get his ass handed to him that night. I thought that might knock some sense into him, but it made everything harder on him. If he had started treating me better maybe it wouldn't have come to where it did. Ugh.. I hate this feeling. I want to stop having so much rage in general.